05 September 2005

You asked for it...

OK, those questions you've been asking:

Linette asked:

1. If there was absolutley no way you could fail, what 1 thing would you do?

Erm. Trying to become a stand-up comic? Oh, that's right, I'm doing that anyway. But knowing that failure wasn't an option would be handy.

2. What are you most proud of?

Having gotten an A in A Level Film Studies. It's the only A I've ever gotten in my life.

Gumchewingfreak asked:

1. If you could do it all again, what one thing would you do differently?

I don't know. There's lots of things in my life that I wish had happened differently, but nothing that I did that I'd change I don't think. If I could re-write history and change just one thing, I'd have brought in the Disability Discrimination Act 25 years earlier so I could've had a decent and enjoyable primary education.

2. If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?

My skin. Everything about my skin. From eczema, to acne, to excess hair... I have the worlds worst skin.

3. Whats the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

Ooo. Tough one. I think it's a tie between three things:

- My primary school Learning Support Assistant.
- My primary school Headmistress
- Getting classified as an S9 whilst at an international competition. This gives a basic idea of the classification system. Just reading the description of an S9, SB8, SM9, anyone who has ever met me can tell I'm much more disabled than the people I was expected to be able to compete equally against. It was quite unanimously agreed that I should've been an 8,7,8. By everyone except the classifiers that is, because most of the characteristics of Osteogenesis Imperfecta don't fit neatly into the classification system. Hence why I quit swimming.

4. When am I going to see you next?

Well, the last twice I've seen you have been because I've come to Cambridge. So... next time you come to London :-P

5. What's your fav colour?

Purple. Closely followed by blue and then bright pink (I dislike pastel pink. It's boring).

6.Have you ever been angry with you/at you/because of your imparment?

As a kid I used to wonder "why me?" But, when I look back, it was always discrimination, inequality and failures of our medical service that made me think that. Like, I'd be in agony with a broken leg, wondering "why me?" When if I'd been given some decent pain relief and not just half a paracetamol every 4 hours, I'd have been fine. Similarly, when my school refused to take me on trips I'd wonder "why me?" If I was at primary school now, post-DDA, I'd be able to make a fortune in compensation out of them for treating me like that.

7. Whats your deepest darkest secret?

I wish I was interesting enough to have one.

8.Have you ever been in trouble with the law?

I once got moaned at by a copper for having my car radio too loud. That's it.

9. Do you harbor secret fanticys of some job you'd totally love to do when you grow up?

When I grow up, I want to be able to make a living as a stand-up comic.

Lanei asked:

Which do you feel is more intrinsic to your identity, sexuality or disability?

My disability. As I've grown up, it's been a much bigger part in shaping me. Mainly because other people judge me on it more than they judge me for being a lezzer. I'm discriminated against daily because of my disability, but I don't think I ever have been for being gay. Which is odd. Being disabled shouldn't be so important. To people my age, such a big part of socialising is going out on the pull/dating/relationships which being gay obviously affects, but disability shouldn't.

Alex asked:

1) Do you consider yourself a spiritual person? If so, how would you label your spirituality, if at all?

Not really, no. I identify as an atheist. Last month I went to a Pagan Handfasting ceremony, and that was really lovely. Far more beautiful than any Christian wedding I've ever been to, and I'd kinda like to know more about Paganism from that. But I'm too lazy to actually research. I also learned a bit about Witchcraft when I lived with a Witch, and that was quite interesting too, but again, me = lazy.

2) Where is your favourite place on earth?

When I was a kid, it was Woodlarks, but I don't know now. I certainly wouldn't now want to live anywhere other than where I do. I love London, and I'm so Central here. Though, I wouldn't say no to a bigger, more accessible flat, especially if it was built right next door to where I am right now. I think if I ever grow up and have a family, I'd want to move back to Cambridge. I'd need to live in the city, and not some surrounding village. But, having lived there in my teens, I think Cambridge is a fantastic place for kids to grow up.

3) Who do you admire the most?

I honestly don't know. Sharleen Spiteri?

4) Who do you despise the most?

Anyone with discriminatory attitudes.

5) If you went on Desert Island Discs on Radio 4, which eight records would you choose?

1. Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. The most beautiful song in the world. Ever.

2. Karma Chameleon by Culture Club. The first single I ever got (and Colour By Numbers was the first album I ever got in fact). I was 4. I'm still absolutely crushed that the night I went to see Taboo, Boy George wasn't in it. He was my childhood hero (well, him and Su Pollard. Probably goes a long way to explaining why I'm such an odd adult).

3. Saint by Texas. This is my favourite of all their songs, and I'm devastated they never released it as a single.

4. I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany. I just love this song. It's great to sing along and bounce around to. And a week and a half before I left university, she played in the students union, and during that song she crouched down and took my hand. Heh. I was just a wee bit excited.

5. Ode To My Family by The Cranberries. I could pick anything off of No Need To Argue, it's an album I always find very humbling to listen to because of associated memories of the year I listened to it pretty much constantly... and that's the song off it that seems to get stuck in my head these days.

6. Lonely Girl by P!nk. On a variety of levels this song describes me fairly well. I love the line "I'm looking for a way to become, the person that I dreamt up, when I was 16". And I also love the line "how the birds would sing, as I'd count the rings, around my eyes". Very me.

7. So In Love With You by Texas (the original version off the album Ricks Road, not the version that's on Greatest Hits). Just cos I couldn't compile a CD track list with only one Texas song on it, and this is my favourite of all their singles.

8. Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, P!nk, Little Kim, Mya. A fun song to end on that reminds me of working in a little office in an old, dingy Oxford University building under extremely stressful conditions with someone who was the complete opposite of me in every way, but we hit it off so well. And every time we meet now, this song has to be played and danced to. It's one of life's musts.

Cryx asked:

If instant teleportation was invented, where in the world would you live?

Right where I do now (see above answer re: a slightly nicer flat though). I'd travel bloody widely though.

Flash asked:

1) Who was your first crush? By which I mean embarrassing pop star or film star etc...

I think probably Tiffany (the one who thought she was alone now).

2) At what age did you start using a wheelchair and how did you feel about it at the time?

5. It didn't make too much difference to be honest. I was so rubbish at walking that up until that age I'd spent most of my time being pushed around in a buggy. At least my wheelchair had self-propelling wheels so I could push myself if the ground was flat enough (my arms were so weak that I couldn't even push across carpet in a completely flat room) so it was a bit more independence than a buggy. Also, when I got the first chair I had a broken leg, and a wheelchair was certainly an improvement on being stuck in bed.

Here's a photo of me in my first chair:

Me, aged 5, on a swimming pool side in my first, red, wheelchair, with my left leg in a full length cast, clutching a trophy

I'm clutching my very first swimming trophy. Obviously, from the lump of plaster of paris on my leg that weighed as much as me, I'd not actually been in the pool that evening.

3) What's the worst hairstyle you've ever had?

About 18 months ago I went and got my hair cut. Despite asking firmly for him to not cut anything off the front at all, he did. I left with a mullet. I was so upset. Fortunately, I keep my hair tied back, so it was hard to see that I had a mullet. But, it took me forever to restrain the short bits at the front. I remember a day or so later going clubbing with Linette and my hair was all I could think about all night.

4) What are you looking forward to the most, in the future?

I honestly don't know. I'd love to settle down with someone amazing and start a family. I frequently doubt that that will ever happen.

Kimkali asked:

If there was one question you could ask and know the answer was The Truth, what would you ask and who to?

I'm fairly sure I know what you're hoping I'll type. Cheeky cow.

There's someone (I'm not saying who) that I'd like to ask if she does actually hate me or not. If not, why does she blank me 9 times out of 10?

Tim asked:

During an argument, why doesn't my girlfriend pay attention to anything I say? And when she does listen, why does she only listen to half of it so when she repeats it it sounds like I'm a complete bastard?

I have no idea. I'm no relationship expert. But, if you know any witty, single lesbians, point them in my direction and I'll conduct some research for you.


  1. Anonymous10:06 am

    Hah, that so true about hair trauma - I swear the hairdressing industry has been trying to give me a mullet for years. At first it was by giving me haircuts which only looked normal in the salon whilst straightened, now they just give me really shit haircuts. The best ones I do myself!

  2. I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany.

    This was the first single I ever bought :))

  3. Anonymous5:05 pm

    "... if you know any witty, single lesbians, point them in my direction and I'll conduct some research for you."

    Well, I like to think I'm witty, I'm single now and as I fancy women I'm technically a lesbian ... ;^)