I'm not quite sure why my last blog post appeared twice, or why one of them wouldn't actually go away when I deleted it (deleting it is no longer an option apparently. Something in cyberspace thinks it's already gone). Repetition can be entertaining. Not in this case, and I apologise for it.

A friend of mine has a very vicious pussy, as I discovered this afternoon. In fact, I'm fortunate that human's have a blinking instinct, or I may of ended up spending the best part of today in the A&E at Moorfields Eye Hospital. She was perfectly content with being stroked and cooed over, until I said her name. At which point she turned around and saw my face. A sight, clearly so hideous, that she was unable to bear it and so sank her claws into the area around my left eye as punishment for looking so monstrous.

Last night my friend and I went out for dinner. We had Mexican which excited me immensly, as I adore Mexican food, but it's really hard to find over here... and even harder to find Mexican food worth eating. It was actually nice. In fact, I'd go so far to say that it was the nicest Mexican food I've ever had in the UK. Shame about the cutlery though. It was cheap and nasty (a little bit like me) and you could taste the metal, which can actually really ruin a meal.

We had an orgasm fight in the restaurant. Quite normal behaviour for a Saturday night in Clapham, clearly, as no-one batted an eyelid. I even managed to get orgasm in her eye which I thought was a quite impressive aim.

Perhaps we'd be safe if we all went through life wearing swimming goggles? Perhaps not a suitable option for those with eyebrow piercings. When I swim I do like like I have an aerial sticking out of my head.

If I don't tell them, they will never know it is really an aerial

Which reminds me, I really should phone home...