22 January 2004

Yesterday I was simply sitting at the computer in my office when I was overcome by the strangest feeling.

There I was just reading the mundane Emails, and I felt so cutesy.

I guess the closest way of describing the feeling would be "in love".

That feeling of holding someone amazingly special close and just feeling all amazing and wonderful, because you're with someone amazing and wonderful.

Except - I was in my office by myself, I wasn't thinking of anything romantic, and my romantic life is completely non-existant (apart from a deep seated obsession with Sharleen Spiteri and one day she will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine).

Psychologists suggest that emotions are just a physical response to a stimulation that your brain interprets in a certain way. Their theory to back this up is that people who've had broken necks report that they feel emotionless, or less emotional than they felt before their injuries.

I was once in the diner in the students union when I was at university, and a woman came up to me and said "I'm a psychology student, and I couldn't help noticing that you're in a wheelchair. I wondered if you had any opinions on [the whole theory]?"

"I'm sorry, I have no idea. I have no paralysis at all"

"I hope you didn't think I was judging you because you're in a wheelchair. You see, I understand discrimination because I'm a lesbian."

"So am I. What's your point?"

I think the whole idea is silly. If it were so, you could end up spending your whole life with someone because of the way your brain interpretted some physical reaction in your body. Just think, you could get to 70 and your therapist could pry it out of you that after all this time, your bodily reaction was just indigestion. Can you imagine that?

Though, maybe they are right. I'm a deeply romantic person. Maybe I'm just clutching at romantic straws (pink novelty ones with a swirly bit in the middle in the shape of a heart which just looks disgustingly grungy when the interior is stained with brown cola). Perhaps my overwhelming feeling of fuzziness yesterday was merely my brain's interpretation of my body's reaction to eating a bagette from the Upper Crust too quickly?

And on the subject of bagettes. Why are the large ones called "Frech Sticks"? Surely it would be more linguistically correct if they were called "bags"...

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