Got up this morning (well, afternoon. It's Sunday and I was still stuck in a traffic jam at 00:30 last night/this morning) to find a text message from a friend I'd hung out with yesterday afternoon. She's got swine flu. Great. So I phoned NHS Direct for advice and the nurse I spoke to carried out an "assessment":
Her: Do you ache all over?
Me: I have Ostesogenesis Imperfecta.
Her: Do you have a blocked nose or difficulty breathing?
Me: I have severe chronic sinusitis.
Her: Are you fatigued?
Me: I take 4 times the standard daily adult dose of antihistamines so I'm always fatigued.
Her: Do you have a sore throat?
Me: I have a persistent sore throat from the Nasonex
Her: Do you have any muscle weakness?
Me: I have Osteogenesis Imperfecta.
And my favourite:
Her: Imagine the worst headache you could possibly have. Do you have that?
Me: I have severe chronic sinusitis. My normal headaches require morphine.