Well, my keyboard issues have been resolved. No, I didn't go out and buy myself a spangly new keyboard, no, that would be far too easy.
Instead I bought myself whole spanking new laptop (hey, it's not like it was unjustified. The last one was five years old and took half an hour to switch on). Of course, now I have access to a b button, I'm not using it anyway. I decided to also get myself Dragon NaturallySpeaking, to see if that will ease the pain of RSI.
I think I'm now at risk of Repetitive Vowel Sound Injury or something like that.
I'll have 60 billion vowels please, Carol.