I saw a news story today on The Guardian's website which was quite sad, because somebody died. But I couldn't help but find the irony entertaining:
The driver of a gritting lorry died today when his vehicle overturned in icy conditions, as snow hit north and east Britain.
Clearly his gritting lorry wasn't very efficient. You'd think they'd also spray some grit out the front, to pave the way for the lorry, wouldn't you?
The most exciting thing to happen to me today was being told I'm actually crazy.
It turns out that I'm not deaf, I'm just mad. Apparently.
The reason I can't understand anything when there's any background noise, and I can't understand a word anyone says to me if I hold a phone to my left ear is just because I'm crazy. There's nothing wrong with my ears. I just have perceived hearing loss.
They're referring me to a therapist to teach me to hear. I was smirking as I was told this.
I now kinda wish I hadn't mentioned anything to my GP. Flippantly being able to say in conversation "sorry, I didn't catch that, I'm a bit deaf" is so much easier to say than "I'm sorry, could you say that again? You see I'm nuts and it means that I think I'm deaf and I'm waiting to be taught how to hear"
Still, I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Crazy people are everywhere. One came into work today. He was looking for a gay bar, and seemed surprised to find a charity.
"I was looking for somewhere more sleazy"
"I'm sorry sir, this is a charity"
He didn't seem to believe that we didn't have some basement dungeon.
But it has given me an idea for a new organisation. I want to rob from the rich, and give to the perverted.