tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post5432256695153008407..comments2023-08-17T14:11:19.206+01:00Comments on Lisybabe's Blog: ♫...Somebody tell me why I'm on my own, if there's a soulmate for everyone...♫Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16714918894319998184noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-27054893917000917462013-09-21T18:58:12.712+01:002013-09-21T18:58:12.712+01:00I know, it's been ages since you wrote this, b...I know, it's been ages since you wrote this, but having recently been migrated from IB to ESA I have to agree 100% about the further financial disincentive to potential partners ... and who after being single for most of their life is going to want to be a kept woman (or man!)?<br /><br />And again I agree totally with the difference between sticking with someone who becomes ill, or choosing to couple your life to someone who is already ill ... I don't think that's all down to potential partners though, I think that has something to do with me feeling like I'm just not worth anybody's time, and I guess fearing rejection I just don't put myself out there to get rejected. <br /><br />Time limiting ESA sucks for couples who lose out financially immediately, but it also sucks for Singletons as it's a further disincentive to finding that special someone. <br /><br />Thanks for writing about this! ... tis good to know I'm not alone, even when I clearly am! ... hopefully in the years since you wrote this you've had more luck finding the right woman and are no longer alone! x Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-42279453828640662952011-05-11T23:31:31.234+01:002011-05-11T23:31:31.234+01:00Hi, found this via BADD. Good post.
To be honest,...Hi, found this via BADD. Good post.<br /><br />To be honest, I've found the same thing even though I'm not physically/visibly disabled. It took me until the age of 31 to meet someone who I liked and who liked me. I had a very brief relationship at around 20, went on one or two dates (via dating websites) in my early 20s, and that was it... Admittedly the earlier dates were in my trying-really-hard-to-be-straight-or-at-least-bi phase, but even so... <br /><br />(However I've now been in a relationship for 18 months - and have found a woman who likes big women :) )Defying Gravitynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-87045309475634275332011-05-04T20:50:38.610+01:002011-05-04T20:50:38.610+01:00I'm going to have to check that out. It's...I'm going to have to check that out. It's lovely and your post definitely meets its loveliness.Ruth Madisonhttp://www.ruthmadison.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-20530826376802011792011-05-04T15:51:24.044+01:002011-05-04T15:51:24.044+01:00I'm afraid I can't take credit for the tit...I'm afraid I can't take credit for the title. It's a lyric from Natasha Bedingfield's 'Soulmate'.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16714918894319998184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-41808644124100601722011-05-04T14:34:28.457+01:002011-05-04T14:34:28.457+01:00Heart breaking title. Awesome post. I'm so t...Heart breaking title. Awesome post. I'm so tired of being told "there's someone for everyone." Some people do end up alone. And it's not their fault. :( <br /><br />I have to say, it isn't necessarily easier from the other side. I am not disabled and I date people who are. I do not have my pick. I'm young, pretty, optimistic, and kind, but I still have a lot of trouble finding dates. <br /><br />I'm learning to come to a place of acceptance that maybe I am going to be without a partner and maybe my writing will have to be enough to keep me company.<br /><br />I've taken some comfort from another phrase... "Everyone dies alone."Ruth Madisonhttp://www.ruthmadison.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-86551113151427560022011-05-02T13:10:38.089+01:002011-05-02T13:10:38.089+01:00@goldfish:
Hahaha. You've never met me, you&#...@goldfish:<br /><br />Hahaha. You've never met me, you've only seen photos of me online. And, obviously, I only post the more flattering ones.<br /><br />OK, ugly may be a matter of personal opinion but my being fat is an unquestionable fact. I wear size 20 clothes. As someone that's only 4'10" I'm technically obese.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16714918894319998184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-82095818872116032382011-05-02T13:05:13.003+01:002011-05-02T13:05:13.003+01:00"But also I'm not lacking in self-esteem&..."But also I'm not lacking in self-esteem"<br /><br />Except, as others have told you, you're not ugly. You're not what I'd call fat. I don't know you well enough to pass judgement on annoying. ;-)<br /><br />Disability and sexual attraction is a really weird and complicated thing - the ways it counts and doesn't count, and the different contexts where it crops up as an issue. Personally, I think 12 is very pessimistic, but whatever the number, here's hoping one of them will cross your path real soon.The Goldfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15213378454070776331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-90751461754775156592011-05-02T02:51:29.461+01:002011-05-02T02:51:29.461+01:00Awesome post, this stuff goes under our radar all ...Awesome post, this stuff goes under our radar all too often. Invisible in too many ways. <br /><br />Love the Hello Kitty/cute/impaired concept, too.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing all this with us.Selenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16906565055142387639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-66903342863087973212011-05-01T23:00:06.440+01:002011-05-01T23:00:06.440+01:00Good post. I can't claim I was any great catch...Good post. I can't claim I was any great catch even before I was visibly disabled, but I'm sitting here trying to think of the last time someone even remotely flirted with me. Closest I can get is a colleague's partner I spent the evening dancing with (he didn't dance) at a Christmas do four years ago. Beyond that....DavidGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11734028655032503805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-61196063175826121052011-05-01T22:44:38.138+01:002011-05-01T22:44:38.138+01:00'If I'd been in a relationship with someon...'If I'd been in a relationship with someone when I got sick I think it'd be a different story, I don't think they'd have dumped me for being ill.'<br /><br />To be honest, I don't think it would. The asshole who wouldn't date you because you're disabled is usually also the asshole who would jump ship on a formerly able-bodied partner if they became disabled too. <br /><br />'Instead of getting picked for "make a wish" type trips to Disneyworld, I got banned from school holidays.'<br /><br />OK you know I'm not gonna let you get away with glossing over that one! There's a blog in it somewhere ;).<br /><br />Who says anyone - able bodied or disabled - should have a partner? The single life has a LOT going for it (and nobody said being single meant going without sex!). The poor attitude towards single people says more about the narrow-mindedness of people who think coupledom is the 'norm' everyone must aspire to than it does about those of us who don't buy that myth!Gainahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08495953058626656188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-48349918107512478382011-05-01T22:16:02.184+01:002011-05-01T22:16:02.184+01:00Excellent post. There's not enough out there ...Excellent post. There's not enough out there about disability and relationships really. Although I'm not visibly disabled, and, being a raving hetty, technically have a larger pool of potential to choose from, I sympathise. My own quest for someone hot for even one decent screw does not go well. Perhaps I'm too honest, but I'm not prepared to be otherwise.<br /><br />This sabotaged independence thing really gets to me. I can't be kept, no way, and I can't ask someone to do that. Some people get off on it, but I think that disturbs me slightly. Similarly I understand that a damaged and abused woman holds a romantic appeal for some people, but... they're still not seeing *me*. I think many of the "able" have trouble integrating the disability with its owner without letting it take over.<br /><br />As soon as someone registers the disability, it all becomes about "supposed"; how you're "supposed" to feel, what you're "supposed" to want. You don't get a say anymore. It's like being a child, with the disability as your parent; when you try to speak, people say "that's nice dear" and try to speak to *it* instead.<br /><br />And Lush, I'm with you on that, too. Even if at the moment I feel their massage bars are laughing at me. And I wish they'd stop putting sexual references in the names of their products. Saying "sex" makes me think about sex. That does not help.Jannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6233625.post-49342106821822552282011-05-01T22:01:27.086+01:002011-05-01T22:01:27.086+01:00*Considers sex joke about arseholes*
*Thinks bette...*Considers sex joke about arseholes*<br />*Thinks better of it*Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14255575000862197175noreply@blogger.com